What’s shaking guys? I hope you’re all doing good! POST SPOILER: This is gonna be pure rambling, now you’re warned. So by the title of this post you may be thinking stuff like: So she can’t cry, is she a psychopath? or She’s ill and she can’t cry? and stuff like that. Well no, before you ask: No. Lemme just explain it well:
So few days before school finished, I was kinda sad that I wasn’t gonna see my friends (which I see pretty often right now, but I didn’t know it by that time) cause I was gonna miss them and other people like my annoyingly overmentioned *I think that isn’t even a word, but you get me* crush so yeah. I felt kinda sad, I felt nostalgia even before school finished. Ok that’s all over now, I’m not sad anymore cause I know I’m gonna see them again next school year, but we’re humans and we always feel that little sadness when those kinda things happen.
And I know it’s been a long time since school finished (in Spain at least, about a month ago) and I’m too late to write this right now but I don’t care, it was just so weird.
So as a good human being; I came home, closed my room’s door aaaaaand couldn’t cry.
Damn! Like: what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I cry? I just wanted to drop couple of tears, why can’t I cry?
Then I thought, there must be something wrong with me. Ok so first off, I’m not a crying person.*I used to cry like everyday when I was like 9 due to fangirl issues but that’s over now* There’s a lot of people out there who cry at pretty much everything which is completely fine, but not me. I don’t cry unless something really sad happens. *I may cry twice or three times a year, idk I ain’t count how many time I cry you know?* Anyway, I was like: Ok, never mind, I’m fine! It’s all cool! But I was really surprised I couldn’t cry: Maybe I ain’t had tears cause I didn’t drink much that day. Maybe I forgot to cry *cause when was the last time I’ve cried?*. Maybe I didn’t feel THAT sad even. Idk but something’s happening.
I’m still wondering what happened that day. Just be me for a second: That very moment when you’ve been feeling down, when you just wanna vent, and you finally decide to cry, you can’t! So frustrating, right? I was like huh? Like, something should be happening right now, for once in my life I should be crying like a whimsical baby about my stupid first world problems, but no! Turns out I can’t cry now!
So what did I do? I didn’t vent, so I grabbed my iPad and googled things like: why can’t I cry? or why can’t I make myself cry? or how to cry and stuff like that.
Google says: About 32,200,000 results (0.52 seconds) But nothing
effing matches what I was looking for! Anyway, I told myself: Anna, you can’t cry. Deal with it. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Having repressed anger? Pssh…nah! One day you’ll cry again, I guess.
So yeah, maybe this is like a teenage stage or something and that’s why I can’t cry. Idk someday I will cry again, it’s not that I’m turning into a robot so yeah. And even thought I’ve rambled a lot in this post about wanting to cry doesn’t mean I wish to cry, cause I’m feeling really good and that nostalgia thing is over now, It’s just that willing to cry and not being able to is a little strange for me. LOL idk
One day I’ll cry again. One day.
Yo, is this just me or have you ever not been able to make yourself cry before? Are you a crying person? Are you like me and you just don’t feel like crying like… ever? Why do you think I couldn’t cry? Has this ever happened to you? Tell me in the comments, I really wanna know!! Hope you liked this post have a great day!