I hope you’re having a great day! So today’s one of those days when I ruin your life completely because of how boring it is not to tell a movie without making spoilers hehe
So yesterday me and my dad went to see “Solo: A Star Wars Story” and actually I had very low expectations because the guy looks nothing like the original Han Solo and the last Star Wars Movie was in December, so you can’t help feeling the “spam”, even though don’t get me wrong, I LUV Star Wars! My Ethics teacher said he watched it and he said he didn’t like it. I was like well, let’s see..
So here I am to review it!!!
⚠ SPOILER ALERT:
I’m gonna make A LOT of spoilers, lots of them, I’m basically gonna tell you EVERYTHING. This movie’s plot is a little hard to explain for me, as I’m not good at explaining things without ruining them, I’mma make spoilers. Sorry. Don’t read this if you wanna watch the movie sometime.
Spoilers are marked in red, just in case.
Movie Review: “Solo: A Star Wars Story”
Release date: May 10, 2018 (USA)
Director: Ron Howard
Budget: 275 million USD
Story by: George Lucas
Saga: Anthology Star Wars
*I’d never explained a star wars movie before, I’m scared, I mean excited 😅*
First spoiler of the day: There’s no yellow text at the beginning.
Yeah, that disappointed me too. 😭 😭 Our dignities may rest in peace. Although I understand they didn’t do that because there was no empire at the time, it was “forming” and there was no Jedi stuff in the movie at all. But still, cause they did some explanation with the blue text other than the “a long time ago…”.
So there’s this guy named Han who’s solo in life so that became his name, who had a girlfriend named Qi’ra *I know lol* living in poverty scamming people and all they want is to get out of there. So Han stole some coaxium and they used to bribe an imperial officer to get out of there. But the officer betrays them, Han crosses the border *lol.. no? ok* but it was too late for Qi’ra. He tries to find a job to earn enough money to get a spaceship and return to get her.
He first works as a soldier at war as part of the empire, then he meets Chewbacca at a pit because some criminals (a man, Beckett, and a woman, remember this) pretending to be imperial soldiers (who he tried to join to get out of there) sent him there. He is going to be the meal of a beast, DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN… Chewbacca!
Han turns out to speak wookie (Chewie’s language) and convinces him to get out of there together, along with the crimminals.
These peeps were ordered to get *I think* 10 tons of refined coaxium. In this mission, they had to compete with another group of crimminals who were going to do the same by orders of the same leader. Great! The woman I told you about before? She dies in the mission.
They didn’t get the coaxium in the end so deir boss *and his name is Vos lol* is going to kill them. So they crossed their heart, hoped to die, sticking a needle in their butts and went to see this guy and tell him. He didn’t kill them, he told them they had another chance, or else they would die. Oh yes, Qi’ra was there at le boss’s house, she apparently engaged to him. What? *she seemed to be forced to do it though* He doesn’t know about Hiran *Han and Qi’ra, I just made it up 😂* and sends her with them to make sure they’re doing their job.
So they need an amazeballs spaceship to go on that adventure, so they call DUN DUN DUUUUN… Lando Calrissian to go with them on the DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN Falcon Millenium.
This time they succeed. They meet at a beachy place with deir boss to give him that. Then, they meet a tribe of people who need that coaxium to defend themselves from the people who killed THEIR people. (Before this, Lando leaves in the Falcon Millenium.) Solo gives them the coaxium and tricks Vos but Beckett already told Vos about it. WHAT?!
So Vos tries to invade dat tribe with his army but he couldn’t. Beckett leaves the room, Qi’ra kills Vos and then Han and Chewbacca leave as well, Qi’ra said she would go after them. She calls DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN Darth Maul and tells him that Vos is dead, so he wants her to go wtih him and plan I don’t know what. She accepts and goes with him, leaving Han all solo, lol get it? 😅 Ok no.
Han kills Beckett and then escapes with Chewbacca. They one day find Lando and play some star wars Poker and Han wins Lando’s Flacon Millenium. They’re still friends though.
*sorry for the long plot, there was no way I could resume it more*
I really liked the movie, I liked it a lot more than I thought even though Darth Vader didn’t appear, there were no Jedis, (although I know that Vader and the Jedis wouldn’t have made any sense in here) Han Solo didn’t look like Han solo, there was no yellow text…
Seriously, they didn’t even die that guy’s hair blond!!!
275 million dollars in budget, but they didn’t spend 4 box in hair dye. 🤬
Oh yes! You must know there are some “dirty jokes” in the movie, which I didn’t like. I mean, I don’t mind dirty jokes, but there has never been dirty jokes in a Star Wars movie dude! Also, I watched the movie in spanish and I’m not sure about this in the english movie, but Han Solo says a badword, which had also never happened in a Star Wars movie. Again, I actually like badwords lol, but it’s not Star Wars at all. He said sh*t in spanish, maybe in english he said damnit or sh*t too 😂😂
I liked the fact that she left Han Solo for Darth Maul lol. I would’ve done the same. I mean, what? Who said that? 😅 It also HAD to happen considering he ends up with Leia. Just kidding, everybody knows that. 😅
It was cool, though definitely not one of my faves, it wasn’t as bad as The Force Awakens *ma least fave movie* even though it disappointed me with the dirty jokes and the yellow text and badwords.
I’ll give it 3 stars, I wanted to give it 4, but no no no… I’m extremely sorry, it had more disappointing factors than The Force Awakens.
Despite the fact that I feel like I’ve killed a puppy giving this 3 stars, this was so fun to do! I’m kinda proud I’ve finally managed to be able to explain a Star Wars movie and lol, fully understand it. 😅😅 Battles always confuse me.
⚠ IF THERE’S ANY OTHER MOVIE YOU’D LIKE ME TO REVIEW, DON’T HESITATE TELLING ME ⚠
Share your thoughts with me!
Have you seen this movie? Have you not? If yes, did you like it? Which is your favorite Star Wars movie? Mine is believe it or not, Rogue One. *and no, it’s not for Krennic lol* And least favorite? You know which mine is. Tell me everything!!!!!!!
I hope you guys liked this post as much as I liked making it! Hope you liked the spoilers lol. I hope you have an amazing day/night and an amazing week! See ya next time!